Gambling

Passionate about exploration. An addiction to risk , who says you can only gamble in vegas. The stakes are high. {On retrospection realized , its not so high after all} . A game where you know you are losing but can you turn and leave ? {Game ..? nonsense , lets just call it good old Ego }

Im the darkness in the light
Im the leftness in the right
Im the rightness in the wrong
Im the shortness in the long
Im the goodness in the bad
Im the saneness in the mad
Im the sadness in the joy.
{U see that I am different. Would like to add "Im the beauty in the beast" but critics might not spare me.}

So I developed a unique skill. I laugh at myself and write a blog about life that goes on. A comedy of errors where life is neither a tempest nor an ice cream that melts away. Living in a moment is what i learnt.
{ Live life queen size. Wanted to say King ... but the feminist in me said no.}
Im the half-truth in the lie
Im the why not in the why
Im the last roll of the die
Im the old school in the tie
Im the spirit in the sky
Im the catcher in the rye
*********************** {struck out , accepting expert comments.}
{Conveys the eccentricities I live by . }

- gin soaked... girl I guess
{Actually Vodka}

cheers

Jobless yet at Work

Jobless
--------
{conv between boss n me}
me: I have cleared up current issues. Let me take up the new ones and reduce your load.
{de de .. de ..de kaam mujko, mujko }

boss: No no don't worry , I want you to put all your resources in XYZ .

me: ehhhhh.... but its currently held up with smthg else.. so not much goign on.
{sala.. usme kaas nahi hai karne ko }

boss: No no don't worry , I want you to put all your resources in XYZ .

me: ehhh..... ok. <>
{chal be shane . meri diwali hai . }

boss:bye.

{aaj ke movie ka research}

At Work
----------
So i browsed orkut for an hour. found out who is dating whom , who is on getting married and who is not. Checked current temp in all the states I was interested in. Did research on common issues and concerns in medical science. Read abt Android. Thinking PV is the next company I shld join. hmmm. Chatted. Even checked c++ books . Ate too much . Thinking its jacuzzi time.

what a day!@#$%#$%

827

Today i miss tucson more than ever. Wish i could bring back those days .. but i promise myself to visit 827 again... not 'coz of nostalgia but my best friends in life now inhabit the cactus city and god knows for how long.

things i miss:
1. midnight syndrome
2. LOST episodes
3. Vettha kozambu and Frankie Rolls
4. Tea
5. Group dum
6. swarnaka
7. spiderweb
8. Raw Vodka shots
9. Cats n whiskers
10. Styling n straightening
11. worrsstttu...
12. RA ......{Random Accidents}
13. movie nights/ exam nights
14. Maloneys
15. A hug n smile with soothing thoughts that you are not alone in this mad world

what i am

:) . i am what i am and will be what i always am. Now thats too many am's but my ego has taken a beating. Sheesshhh... things that clog ur mind .

recollections...

Tango is done....lessons well learnt. I still am to find a dance partner and seek out the floor to show off my newly acquired talent but guess that can wait. :) .
Sem is coming to an end , the Master's chapter ending . New friends, new house , new job ...lol ... with everything changing is it time to go down the memory lane? Smiles and laughter and some vodka and lights.. i will survive.

BTW am graduating......... yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

my mind , the traitor

decadent dreams and emotionless words
well practiced eye seeking a non-existent object,
an illusion of carefree ways .
wading through tides of resistance,an awful realization!
broken hopes singing stupid songs.
what a pity! Age changes few things.
results of an idle mind ruminating on worthless issues.
Shame! so much to change, so much to grow.

thinking?

am lying on the floor thinking
how do i manage to sprain my neck every month?
posture or sudden movement!
well this time i didn't even move.
Hmmm... So I lie on the floor
hoping some how i find relief
hoping the pain in my neck will go away
slowly easing to that comforting spot.....
then I get a call from him
and the pain starts all over again!!!

Fragile

If blood will flow when fresh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrows rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay
Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetimes argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are
On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star
How fragile we are
- STING

pareshan!

windy day, cloudy and chill.
cobwebs in the brain that a smoke didn't get rid of. wondering why the strange noises!

ye lamhe na apne lage na paraye.
kano me aisi shor machi hui hai.
nasha chahiye is pal ko bitane.
Lag raha hai kuch suna suna sa,
shayad neend ki zaroorat hai!

opinions

Clothes ,Men,Chocolates & Sex
-------------------------------

Let me start on a neutral note. I am unbiased and an equal opportunity believer. Not keeping in mind race, color or religion I believe all men have a tendency to disappoint.

"An odorous chaplet of sweet summer buds
Is, as in mockery, set: the spring, the summer,
The childing autumn, angry winter, change
Their wonted liveries; and the maz'd world,
By their increase, now knows not which is which:
And this same progeny of evils comes
From our debate, from our dissension:
We are their parents and original." - Shakespeare .

Our debate here is in why I would choose clothes to men or chocolates to sex. Loss of control tends to obviate the very purpose of our fullfilment and I like staying in control.
Chocolates have historicaly proven to give a high. Intake releases serotonin in the brain, which is thought to produce feelings of pleasure. Romantic lore commonly identifies chocolate as an aphrodisiac. Also a sweet addiction. benefits: Satisfaction garanteed and you are always in control.
The magnitude of attachment a woman has to clothes has been scientifically studied and they say an average woman keeps her favourite dress longer than relationships. Contrary to saying "giving up sex for a new dress" , I say have both. Shopping can cure you of many ailments like depression and breakup.Last but not the least fulfillment is complete when you find the perfect clothing. benefits : bolster self esteem and accentuate sensuality.
In conclusion, my opinions have sexual undercurrents, I don't deny, neither do I say that the male species serve a limited purpose. Best decribed , this is a view through a prism or a color from the spectrum.

"humans are born 'polymorphously perverse', meaning that any number of objects could be a source of pleasure." - Sigmund Freud

"declarations of free will are in fact delusions; that we are not entirely aware of what we think and often act for reasons that have little to do with our conscious thoughts."
- Sigmund Freud .


Cheers

I won!

the sweet joy of victory.
sweat trickling down the brow and a smile creeping on the lips.
a shout and hoot - hurray!
muscles still tensed , the t-shirt still soaked.
crowds screaming my name - ali ! ali ! ali!
shoes pounding on the floor, over the towel I threw.
hugs and cheers so many!my voice drowned by the drums.
I won.
someone , notice the blood oozing from his lips.
a counterpart fallen, cluthing his head.
stretcher, doctor and nurse running.
Someone, notice the pain in his silent scream.
I won.
Heart is soaring , head held high!
the trophy in my hands , a belt on my waist.
flashes of light and the media clambering;
I won.
Someone, notice the knuckles still bleeding.
His leg wrapped in an ice pack.
A collar around his neck.
Someone, notice his mother crying.
I won.

2 to Tango

slow slow slow slow
slow slow quick quick
the basic steps of my first tango class. a very graceful teacher taught a small class of 11.
Its amazing what a patient teacher can make you feel about the most dreaded subject. For the first time, today I felt, I didn't have 2 left feet. I am all geared up and want to buy dancing shoes... guess I will wait till I learn what dancing is about.
:)

melancholy

old age . wrinkled skin and veins popped up.
Wobbly feet and shivering hand!
life hanging by a thread.
tubes every where. tortured to see a troubled soul?
The eyes are paralysed and the body rigid.
Is death the solution or salvation ?
I have seen death before , but its never the same.
Suffering here is for everyone around
and I want to end this.